I Wonder as I Wander [open]
Jul 26, 2012 14:36:41 GMT -5
Post by Lucille Bianchi on Jul 26, 2012 14:36:41 GMT -5
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Hinokicho Park. It was certainly rather pretty, like the tourist guides Lucky's mother had peppered her with before she left had said. The teen still couldn't decide if she was sad or relieved to be out of Louisiana. It was home, sure, but home...well, home had never been a good place, had it? No, it hadn't been. Supposedly Japan would be better. She didn't doubt it. Neither of her parents had ever set foot on the islands, after all. That automatically made it better - the man who had made her nightmares and the woman who had exacerbated them by words, they tainted everything they had touched, and at least, though surely other awful things happened here, at least their particular stench had never settled here.
She needed to focus on something other than thoughts of the past, however. The past was dangerous, snaking out to grab her heart and mind and tear when she could least handle it. It was better, often, to simply not think, and to focus on the physical - the way her shoe soles hit the ground, the way the long braid down her back bounced as she walked, the way the sun felt on her hands and face, the only exposed parts of her body. If only... Well, that was dwelling on what could have been, and that was as dangerous as the past. At least the past had been awful enough she couldn't, wouldn't live in it. A false past, where things had been good, people fell into those as easily as the real past, and tried to never come out. Lucky didn't know what basis she knew it on, but she knew that denial was as bad as anything else had been. Nobody had ever told it to her, but it seemed...right. That false past had trapped her mother, after all, hadn't it? She couldn't do that. She could be anything but that. Would be anything but that.
She stopped along the path she walked, gaze honing in upon a particular plant. The shape was nice, and it distracted her from her thoughts. Life is lived mostly within one's mind, and pulls from that abyss are always welcome to those weary of their own company. At least, pulls that do not require something from them they are unwilling to give. Plants were a welcome distraction. People... They might be a less welcome entrant to her attention.
She needed to focus on something other than thoughts of the past, however. The past was dangerous, snaking out to grab her heart and mind and tear when she could least handle it. It was better, often, to simply not think, and to focus on the physical - the way her shoe soles hit the ground, the way the long braid down her back bounced as she walked, the way the sun felt on her hands and face, the only exposed parts of her body. If only... Well, that was dwelling on what could have been, and that was as dangerous as the past. At least the past had been awful enough she couldn't, wouldn't live in it. A false past, where things had been good, people fell into those as easily as the real past, and tried to never come out. Lucky didn't know what basis she knew it on, but she knew that denial was as bad as anything else had been. Nobody had ever told it to her, but it seemed...right. That false past had trapped her mother, after all, hadn't it? She couldn't do that. She could be anything but that. Would be anything but that.
She stopped along the path she walked, gaze honing in upon a particular plant. The shape was nice, and it distracted her from her thoughts. Life is lived mostly within one's mind, and pulls from that abyss are always welcome to those weary of their own company. At least, pulls that do not require something from them they are unwilling to give. Plants were a welcome distraction. People... They might be a less welcome entrant to her attention.
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Notes; This is rambly whoa. But yeah. Luck's mind is interesting to go back to. Very dark. >_>; But a little lighter than it could be, I guess. And the dark side of it doesn't even show up very well, really... Probs a good thing. It'll shine eventually.
Tags; open
Wordcount; 404
Tags; open
Wordcount; 404